Head Over Heels

Happy being older Happy with my age

I remember like yesterday writing a post about getting 30… Ok ok, it doesn’t feel like that because yesterday was a great night and the one before too and two nights before… Well I’m still struggling to spell my second name and gave up to master my family name but jokes aside. It seemed to be such a big number and such an important one, the one when you check your bucket list and “long term plans” (made when you were 20).

I remember all those articles and girls saying life starts after 30, I remember how skeptical about I was… and you know what, THEY WERE SO DAMN RIGHT!

I was born in the years when kids were feeling happy and safe playing on the streets till dusk just in a slip (which I’ve obviously changed each time I made a pit stop at home “because I’ve been already seen in that one, mom!?!”). I have to admit, having grown up in St. Petersburg and a Scandinavian climate, I had a luxury to spend every summer at a sea in subtropics, where my family has a summer house. We, kids, did not have any electronic devices but had real fun and real friends. We were writing each other real letters during the year and waiting for the next summer to come to get together from all the different places, play till dusk again, exchange our stories and create new ones. I feel so blessed to have had the opportunity to grow up fearless, crazy, always in motion, curious and communicative.

Getting some crazy, stupid and juicy videos forwarded every second day now, I realize more and more how happy I am being born in those years! Most probably I’ve got the last chance to have the perfect crazy youth. In the years when lack of brain and common sense was perfectly balanced with the excess of courage, craziness, silliness and spontaneity, the IT and social media were barely existing so whatever shit I/we did (trust me, the list is damn long…😈), it was not captured for the further generations.

I’ve had so many expectations towards 30 years old myself once I was 20… Funny enough, accidentally I found my ultimate “to-do” list 13 years later… You know what is the funniest thing, without even having a look at it and trying to stick to any agenda all those 13 years, I checked 8 out of 10… Well I just love traveling and shoes too much to have had checked #10 and for #7… I’m grateful every day of my life we got engaged back then… otherwise I most probably wouldn’t be here now and grateful even more for the fact that we broke up, otherwise I definitely wouldn’t be here now! 😜😂

There is a saying in German “Man kann niemanden um seine eigenen Erfahrungen betrügen” – “You can’t bullshit someone about their own experience”. All those years taught me some important things one can’t acknowledge with 20 something and changed my belief system…

• I believe that in 20’s you might know what you don’t want (in my case this enlightenment came in late 20’s…) but you don’t really know what you want, with 30-something you have an answer to both questions!
• I believe in serendipity – there are no accidents in life, you’ve been meant to make all those moves and decisions, yes, even the most stupid ones, every meeting was meant to be and everything happens for a reason, though sometimes initially not that obvious one. No matter what. For good or bad. My to-do list is one of the proofs.

• I believe that friendship is priceless! My world got much much bigger since I’ve been running in colorful slips only on the streets of a southern city. Meanwhile I can barely entrance a plane without bumping into a friend of mine (who gonna be so so helpful during a bumpy flight, while holding my hand and saying it’s going to be fine! Doesn’t matter that we both change diapers we when finally safely land)) It is one of my biggest assets to have such amazing friends, who manage to be 24/7 online with and for me despite their extremely busy agendas, who manage to manage their crazy lives and travel schedules to pop up right on time for my birthday in NYC, who disappear 5 mins before midnight just to appear with a glass of champagne at 00.00 and say “happy birthday babes!”, who fly over the Ocean just to spend my birthday with me, who let me crush on their couch when I WhatsApp them – hey there! I’m on the plane! All good?! )) Who send me roses over the Ocean for my birthday or on any other day just to bring some joy to my day when I’m feeling down, who kidnap me to Lacanau because I have a burnout, or Miami because there is a great party and we so gonna rock it! (No shit!) Who send me a prayer first thing in the morning, who make a surprise party to celebrate my birthday, who break up business contacts with someone who hurt me. We are no longer writing each other old school letters because technologies have improved and we meet regardless season, we hang out also (and mostly) after dusk… but we still exchange our stories and create new ones (involving running in slips only, too 🙈😇). You are amazing and I love you from the bottom of my heart! 😍

• I believe that happiness is a state of mind and no one but you are responsible for your own happiness and I’m sure that happy by nature people attract positive things, it’s just the law of attraction (though, I’ve never had any doubt about it).

• I believe in Love… and I am sure that friendship and love have one thing in common – it is a chemistry. My longest friendship is already 24 years young and counting, we both don’t remember getting acquainted but we both know, we were inseparable ever since we’ve met, the other friendship lasts already 17 years, my meeting with Natasha was set up by our friends who believed we are meant for each other (ya’ll know such friends ))… well she’s my 24/7 friend and partner in crime ever since that meeting… I believe in friendship and love “at first sight” and have 2 middle fingers for non-believers)) because love and friendship are like a fart – if you have to force it, most probably it’s gonna be shit.

• I believe that the most important things in any kind of relationship (love, friendship, work) are respect, trust and loyalty, once any of them is lost, the relationship won’t work and doesn’t make sense anymore.
• I believe that a hug (even a virtual one) or a nice word can save a day or/and a life, and my friends know it, too.

• I believe that personal questions are inappropriate, unless you are a close friend but then you know everything anyway, right?!). A friend of mine (hi, Jane!) has posted a great quote lately:
  “I say I wanna get a puppy, everyone says, gosh it is such a responsibility!
  I wanna get a tattoo, everyone say, think twice… it’s a lifelong decision!
  But everyone keeps saying – you should get a baby!! Like seriously!??! Isn’t it a lifelong responsibility?!?!”
• I believe in private life, it’s called private for a reason. I don’t feel urge to report the whole world what’s going on in my life, trust me something does, always, most probably more than in your entire life.. 😜😈 but who counts right?!))) I’m still getting used to the fact that in Vienna I’m the last one to know who’s my boyfriend… (Meanwhile the trend has spread overseas) 😏 I’ve heard some gossips last week, I had sex with 3 (more) guys (not at the same time, thanks God). I’ve never even met personally one of them, had a drink with the other one and definitely didn’t have sex with the third one too… Bless them… But they say I was damn great so let’s stick to the legend!)))
• Sex! Another topic… It’s not even that I believe, I’m totally sure it’s so much more fun when you aren’t 20 anymore… Latest studies prove that women have best orgasms and sex in general after 36… SO NOW I CAN’T WAIT TO BECOME 36! It’s gonna be amazing! 🎉😜

Having said that, I am happy to be exactly this old young, I am sure everything is going to be just right and as it should be and I am proud to save that playful child, that hopeful dreamer with a heart full of passion for life and a decent amount of jalapenos in that round butt.